One of my psychotherapy clients—he was an entrepreneur—I was sitting with him one day. He then raised his third round. He came to see me after suffering a series of panic attacks and severe anxiety. When he didn’t suffer from anxiety, he felt a void in his chest. All of it right after he closed the round. Business was great. Everyone—even him—assumed he would relax once done.
As a founder, how do you get out when you are squeezed into a corner just because you care so much? “OK, maybe I need to make an effort to make this work; maybe it’s just me who wants things my own way; maybe I’m too demanding of everyone.” You can’t always have it your own way is the usual response? If you’re a founder, I guess you can relate.
Take for instance a real estate agent working for a large real estate business. He’s ambitious and sets his weekly targets highly. He’s meeting them and surpassing them consistently. Beating his colleagues persistently week after week. The boss loves him, the bonus confirms it.
People are different. They have different goals—personal and professional ones. They have different views and want different things. Some are obsessed with their careers and see their current jobs as means of progression. Some see their personal lives as the only important focus in life. Some just want peace and stay under the radar. Some are so goal obsessed that they want results no matter what—event at the expense of the team or even the company. But all of them have one thing in common—they all use their jobs as a means to get to their goals—be it business or personal ones. So, as a leader, how do you change someone that you see hurting your company, hurting the atmosphere? How do you change someone that doesn’t want to change or see the need for it? So, as a leader, what do you do?
The relationship is more than just a byproduct when we talk about business coaching—especially in the case of intense executive or leadership coaching. The coaching relationship is the vehicle for change—it is itself the tool, the means of facilitation of change and not the result of it.
Sometimes you are called in to make something that failed work again. The only worse thing that can happen is for people to give up when they fail the first time. Working with business or individual coaching clients, some have had their previous coaching attempts fail. A lot of them give up. Some of them take another try—fortunately. So, what are the hidden reasons why coaching fails?